‘you are such a great person and deserve the best…and the best isn’t me’

I am crying underneath…I know why, but I can’t say.  I thought I could do it, but I can’t.  It is sooo hard, and I am crying for you and for me.

I long for that feeling again.  I want to love and be love.  I want to know that I am a good person…then why do I feel like shit.  I want a love like my grandparents…a love like Margaret’s, a love like I once knew.  Not like a love like the girl next to me…or the girl down the street or even the girl in front of me…but like the girl in the picture where her face is smiling because she is in love and her eyes tinkle with stars.   I wish for it back…maybe not with you but maybe with someone new. 

I feel like crying

Syamporn Bonnie Boonthavongkham

Aka Lucky 23

Hi everyone....its BONNIE!!!  Just writing in before I have to start on my silly essay which is like 2 days late...I hope she doesn't count the weekends as late cuz then that is 4 days late...ops silly me.  But I didn't have time to write my essay...been too busy with other things, work, and plus the essay was retarded!!!!  But on better notes...

I GOT A GREAT LIL!!! To those who didn't get that...it means in my frat...Alpha Phi Omega....once I cross over...I am eligible for a Lil...and a Lil is someone I take care of during his or her pledging days and be a continuous friend for the rest of my dear life.  So I officially a BIG!!  How exciting.!!!

Anyhoo...my Lil is name Sherwin and he is wonderful...really funny and goofy!!!  We had a blast getting to know each other and yesterday at Neal's party...he got a little drunk!!!! Silly Lil...at least my Big was there to take care of him.  Good Big Ian!!!!  So now we have two Guys in our line plus Quy!!!!  And thanks to those who were there for his REVEALING and to those who couldn't make it...thanks for calling to let me know.  And BiG Ruby...I am not mad at you :) Just for showing up to present him with something and calling at 8:30pm was enough.  And to Sherwin's honorary, thanks for all the candy and gifts...and the honorary's include Bonnesa, All my cuz (even tho...you guys are part of his family already),  Jennie, and of course Nadine and Crystal.  Wow almost all his honorarys are Omegas!!!

And to Bobby...my dearest friend...aka Baby Lil...congrats on getting Big Bobby as your Big!!!  What a Pair!!!  And I don't mind taking care of you!!! 

As with other stuff in my life...lets see...went to Knotts Scary Farm on Thurs. and that was fun...didn't get scared cuz I am tough like that.  But take me to a haunted house and I will pee in my pants.  Um...school is going fine except for that silly paper I didn't turn in.  Midterms and two more papers due next wk...and um...that is about it.

My family and friends are doing great.  Mimers finally got a JOB!!!  Yeah...and someone else in my life did too...but I won't mention who.  Damion and Adrian are o-sooo cute as usual.  Adrian got his first tooth!!! and my brother Dan is doing well in Baseball...finally got his first homerun...go brother.  My mom and dad are planning to move the family to MoVally and rent our house out.  And Grandma...is going fine and still cooking delicious food...but I wish she would cook more beef than chicken.